CHAPTER 3 Results

HOW MUCH DO YOU KNOW?

Finally after fifty minutes of waiting, I get called in. We are led to an empty office and told that someone will be with us shortly. After a few minutes, a middle aged lady stops in to the doorway, I’m guessing she’s a doctor as she’s dressed in smart but regular clothes.

“Has my colleague not been in yet? Young lady?”

Both Adam and I shrug our shoulders and confirm that we’ve not yet seen anyone.

“Okay, ill just go find her.”

I turn to Adam as she leaves the room.

“It’s cancer then isn’t it.”

“Why? What makes you say that?”

“Because she’s obviously a doctor and she’s waiting for her nurse colleague to join her before she begins. If the lump was nothing, we’d be straight in to see the dinner lady nurse.”

I seem to know what’s coming. I knew it back when I’d spoken to dinner lady nurse as she reviewed what was in that brown envelope. I’ve known it for the last week. I can just feel it. The doctor returns, with a nurse that is dressed in navy blue.

“My name is doctor Connelly and this is Emma. Emma is a breast care nurse.”

Here we go. The doctor turns her entire body to face me and says;

“So, how much do you know?”

Well I know that it’s cancer by the fact that you’ve just asked me the ‘how much do I know’ question, and by the fact that you have a ‘breast care nurse’ sat with you. What actually comes out of my mouth is more polite. I go over the fact that I’ve had a biopsy and that I’ve been told that the lump looks ‘suspicious’.

“Okay” says the doctor. “Well I can confirm that it is cancer.”

There is a long pause where both nurse and doctor stare at me with that one eyebrow raised, slight head tilt, concerned look. Instead of it coming across as sympathetic, I just find it irritating, as if breaking down in tears is the only accepted response. It’s a long enough pause to make me feel like I need to purposefully break the silence.

“Okay, well what can be done about it?”

Dr Connelly leads the conversation.